Flashback Part 1

You know I had a huge flashback of memories this morning from when I was around 11 and 12. I usually try to bury this time in my life because I was a hot mess. I think it was triggered by the stress of turning flirty and God was like “why don’t we travel back in time…..flirty is not so bad!” Yes, God said flirty. I was just as shocked as I’m sure you are now.

You know I used to have to walk to school? Seriously, it’s weird to think about now. And I got myself ready and left by myself because everyone in the family had already left. I would ALWAYS have Alvin and the Chipmunks on, and as soon as I heard the theme song at the end that was my cue to get out the door (for those of you that know me well, a clock and I do not mesh well). I think it was a mile to school (no hills : ) ). And if I got to school a second after eight a.m. the doors would lock the late kids out. I remember everyday I would have to walk past this gang called the ‘hell raisers’. They were pretty scary….the girls had really long hair cut into mullets with stripes shaved into the side of their heads. And they all wore black leather jackets that had some sort of emblem on the back. I always got past them as fast as I could.

I was a strange child. I remember wanting to be an archaeologist and I would dig around in our backyard which apparently had been a trash heap long ago. I found things like bones and glass chine doll heads. I always thought the bones were from a murdered person and thought the authorities should be alerted, but mom and dad said no. How weird is that? I would ride my bike everyday in the summer to the library or Benjamin Franklin or the Meat Market. Sounds like something from Andy Griffith. I must have been a pretty responsible kid, or times were just a little different back then. I would check out three books from the library every summer day and then go home, lay on the couch, read them all and go back the next day and check out three more books. I was never a good student, but I did ok in school because I read so much.

I was not cool at all. I remember my mom had told the hair stylist to cut my hair like Dorothy Hamill. HOT MESS people. HOT. And I didn’t have the brand new clothes the other kids did. But I didn’t care.

I had the piano mastered (or very close to it) by the time I was in 7th grade. This was out of pure fear because my piano teacher was a tyrant and would scream and yell at me during the lesson and pound on the keyboard when I didn’t play correctly. Mom and Grace would sit out in the hallway and quiver in fear. It took me until my mid-twenties to actually enjoy playing the piano. Now I’m thankful…..but back then it was like a death sentence.

When my mom had “the talk” with me I was horrified. I had NO CLUE about the birds and the bees. I only remember being frozen as she pointed out things in the medical encyclopedia then getting up and walking out and not speaking for a long time. A few years ago I found out that this is not what I did. Mom said that I laughed and laughed, fell on the floor, then rolled out of the room laughing…..forever traumatizing her. HAHAHA!!! How bizarre is that. Like I said…..very strange child.

I also was in constant fear of going to hell. I think this was because every summer at Baptist camp they would gather the children in the meeting house and this red faced man would tell us we were going to face fire and brimstone, and you may only have seconds to make your decision because the Lord is coming back in the blink of an eye. Well, I was saved at six, but when you have fire and brimstone in your face and sobbing children all around you doubts come into your head. Then we were told to not speak after these services and to ponder what had been said and be silent until the next morning. I would stay up all night sometimes and tell God the Bible from beginning to end ( as much as I knew it ) to prove to Him that I did believe and not send me to hell in the blink of and eye. I’m OCD now. HA!

Anyway….that’s what I was thinking about this morning. I usually don’t think about things that long ago. But it came flooding in this morning and kind of humored me. I think flirty maybe won’t be so bad after all because I’m not nearly as weird ( I don’t want to hear it Cari, I’m NOT).